Sunday, December 23, 2012

Multi-tasker to the rescue

Sundays are literally the best I swear it. If and when I have nothing to do on Sundays (which is often) I spend the entire day cleaning/organizing. My way of cleaning and organizing it focused but so scattered.  Example...today because TNT (the channel) has had the Lord of the Rings Trilogy playing all day I have had the joys are watching it while keeping busy. BUT then the Vikings were playing so I had that game on too. THANK goodness for 2 tvs. On top of watching two things (we won btw) I also completed 4 loads of laundry, 2 loads of dishes in dishwasher/hand washed, folded and put away clean laundry, matched missing socks, cleaned cat litter, constructed a box fort and cardboard toys for the cats, took a bunch of garbage down, eat 2 times, organize under bathroom sink, and put away all the papers and stuff left out from the week. I've been at this since noon. I just took a break Mission accomplished. Now to do my nails (yay) and pack because I have a 7am train home tomorrow which means I need to be up and at Union Station super early tomorrow morning to retrieve my tickets.

Now to the fun stuff! Christmas! So I couldn't bare to wait any longer to give Mike his presents. You know when you get REALLY good gifts that make you excited, that's how I felt. So we opened our presents on Friday night. He got me the most gorgeous Lana Necklace, a cashmere sweater, a Marc Jacobs scarf, and an Actual Pain beanie! If you aren't familiar with Lana, please do yourself a favor. She is a Chicago native designer and has her stuff everywhere. I now own earring and a beautiful necklace and all from Mike! Love love them. He did a great job. Now for his gifts. I was beyond excited because I got him some hand engraved TIFFANY cufflinks. It is a BIT odd that I got my boyfriend something from Tiffany before he did, but heck we definitely aren't traditional. I also finally picked out a nice more trendy backpack from Herschel to upgrade from his dirty American Apparel one. Come on if a man is going to be wearing a suit and overcoat, you gotta have a nice backpack!  And of course you cant forget the Tom Ford Neroli Portofino Bath Soap and tickets to see Devin Townsend Project and Gojira in February! So stoked! (pictures below)

Fitness achievements for the week:

Spent 11am until 7pm at the gym on a Saturday....I took Ass Arms and Abs and Juvamutki Yoga.  I did my first handstand in yoga. Felt pretty good to be the only one out of 5 to do it without help.  My muscles have been pretty tight and have been receiving some of the best therapy Delos Wellness for pain management. So my goal is to get back into more regular yoga practice combined with a lifting program. Slow and steady wins the race!

Since I am getting up super early I should probably get those bags packed. I am very excited to see my family for the quick 2 days I am home. Sure isn't like the old days when I could go home for a week!!!
 My star kittie Magnolia Mountain the Gray!!!
 14Karat Gold Lana Necklace
 Mike's Monogram Silver Tiffany Cufflinks ON
 Bella the White LOVES her box fort!
 MORE PRETTIES


Shop new arrivals at Krista K Boutique


Happy Holidays To Everyone :) And get some Tolkien books to read :) U will thank me later

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Oh yeah....THE VIKINGS WON :)









How on earth could I forget to include this in the my post 30 seconds ago? Oh well it deserves its own entry. My mom, stepdad, brother, and I spent Saturday night in St. Louis, Missouri for our Christmas present. We had a delicious Ruth Chris steak dinner and then SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY we went to the Rams and Vikings game...for all the slow folk, thats code for FOOTBALL. We of course won, and it was the most delicious win ever, because we were there duh! Here are some pictures from our trip. Did I mention that family+football+life=the most important thing in the world.

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

“All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”


J.R.R. Tolkien,
The Fellowship of the Ring
Many years ago I was very much in to reading. Aside from writing and music, it was the only way I felt I could get away. The writings of J.R.R Tolkien and many other authors changed the way I thought about life, feelings, and the choices I made. Of course real life happenings and people help pave the way, but reading was an escape and another point of view.
The quote "Not all those who wander are lost" is particularly meaningful to me in the sense that I've always felt that I had some direction in my life. Even though I may not be completely certain of the exact components I need to get me there, the pieces do always seem to fall in place. I have been down many roads and some have been very unpleasant and dark. I find peace of mind knowing that eventually things do pay off. Along the way you stumble upon little pieces of precious and unexpected things that become crucial stepping stones in the journey to happiness. Not everyone needs a complete mapped out version of their future to succeed. It is those of us who live day by day who enjoy those small moments that have the biggest impact. Sharing those moments with people I care about really gives me more joy than I can comprehend. I am not lost, I am just living. 
BRIGHT HAPPENINGS 
Now on to all things less emotional. Sticking to the theme of fantasy (I first typed that as fanTASTY, i should have kept it.) Last Thursday was the opening night of The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey.  Jourdan, Natalie, and I all went to the midnight showing. Aside from being completely deprived of sleep and having to sit 3 rows back from the front, here are my thoughts.   The movie really represented what I wanted it to in many aspects. Obviously we know that The Hobbit is a Prequel to The Lord of the Rings Triology. It was written to be "60 years" before the LOTR story even happened. In reality the LOTR books were written under 20 years after The Hobbit. The Hobbit was meant to be a childrens book and was in my opinion portrayed as that in the movie, considering all the complaints I heard from people who seemed to think the 2 movies needed to be of the same content. LOTR was originally intended to be a childrens book but as Tolkien was writing it, it evolved into something much darker. The two might share characters and be connected but are not the same type of story.  I thought The Hobbit was beautiful and for being the first of 3 movies for a book that was only about 300 pages (depending on what edition you read,) it was really well done. They captured the image of Rivendell, it was absolutely breathtaking. All the characters did a great job, not a huge fan of the Dwarf costumes. But all around it was funny, beautiful and great. Now do I want to have to wait for the next 2? NO considering how long they kept pushing production for the first one, I want it NOW!  I do want to see it again just to get a better view and to be less tired!  My full opinion regarding people who are not huge fans of The Hobbit or have never read it, I do not think they will get as much enjoyment as say an avid Tolkien fan might. 
In other news, Christmas is right around the corner (barf.) Okay I really do love Christmas, or used to.  I LOVE and get some much joy from giving gifts. But since my grandma passed away a few yeas ago, I really have not enjoyed the holidays as much. It is a great opportunity to see all my immediate family on my dads side, but we do not celebrate like we used to. I miss that aspect a lot. It just makes me miss my Grandma more than anything, she was the happiest woman I knew even when she was at her worst.  She will always be in my heart! 
Now that my topics have turned more emotional check out some of the sweetest gear I have purchased in the past few months. If you know me, I have a strong attachment to my hard earned money. I finally have been buying things for myself. Birthday presents all year? 
 Ash Sneaker Wedges OMG!!!!!
 Can we say the DOPEST FENDI CHAMELEON TIMELESS PURSE EVER

The cutest Tory Burch Patch Leather Flat with Gold Toe!!!!!


 QUEST BARS! Because I need fiber, fats, protein, and carbs and have no time to eat sometimes!


THE BEST cat litter (almost) in the world! It really is amazing and good for the kitties and the environment!

 Because I love my cats so much and I just had to get them an early XMAS present. How great are these bowls?
 MEOW
MERRY HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY NEW YEARS!!! 
<3
  

Sunday, December 9, 2012

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.

Let me tell you a story about my life.... My parents divorced when I was 2 or 3, I spent most of my time with my grandparents when my mom worked so much. They were an incredible staple in my life. My mom and stepdad had my brother when I was 7 years old, we moved from a tiny apartment to a small ranch in a small town. I grew up in a middle class family in a small farm town in central Illinois. We lived less than a block from the same school I attended from K-12.   I had a different group of friends in elementary school, middle school, and high school, as I am sure we all have. While my mom and stepdad worked I would watch my little brother. Until he was old enough to watch himself or could go outside with friends without supervision I watched him. We fought constantly, but that is what siblings do. With such a huge gap in age we really had no real interests in common but I still loved my brother. Fast forward to present time, I am 25 and he is 18. We are both are completely different paths in our lives.  I got a tattoo the day after I turned 18 with my best friend. I spent my 18th birthday with my dysfunctional family, best friend, and boyfriend. I thought my boyfriend was the love of my life. I thought my best friend and I would get an apartment together on our Carlos O' Kelly's paychecks.  A year later my best friend left for the air force for 4 years, I was devastated. I was lost in my "dysfunctional hate filled relationship" and started traveling to Chicago more often.  Then "we" moved to Chicago seperately, I hated him but didn't know how to get out. Then he moved in and owed me A LOT of money and I really didn't know how to get him out. He was abusive and I was stuck. I eventually caught a break. I moved on in my life and my career and became a better person. That was something I never thought was possible.  For 5 years I was in the worst damn place in my entire adult life and even now I am still learning how to trust and not be so afraid I am the happiest I have ever been.

Now to the point. There is a lot of drama going on in my brother life. I am not going to air out his dirty laundry now.  My brother is 18, first year out of high school and not making the best decisions. He is making mistakes just like we all did when we were that age and forgetting how important family is. It really hurts me to see all the drama going on Facebook. It just bothers me how easy it is for young kids to say I love you to one another. I know when you are young it is easy to say one thing and drop it without regard to others feelings the next day. I am saddened to know that I can not reach out to my brother without him thinking I am upset with him and hate him. I love him so dearly and will never stop loving him. I just hope for a better path for him and for better friends and people in his life. Being misguided and full of hate really does nothing to progress your life. I know that I can not have any influence on what decisions he might make or how well he does, but I just wish I could interject and show him the greater side of life. I just want him to be happy and not fight the world. Easier said than done right? Everyone has to go through the mistakes of life to know what works and what doesn't.

The fact of the matter is that family is incredibly important. When I was lost, for the longest time I never told my mom what was really bothering me because I was afraid she wouldn't help. When I opened up and was honest with myself and my family I was capable of so much more because I had the help and love of my family. Even if family is dysfunctional there will always be a bond that no one can touch. Having a hateful heart blocks off those that matter the most, and when you remove it life becomes bearable and easier. I know that not everyone had the closeness and love that I had with my mom and grandparents, but I feel it played a crucial part in how I turned out.

Take away note, treat your family with utmost love and respect.  Those friends I had through school didn't stick around after I moved on with my life but my family has never stopped supporting me.

<3

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The skin I'm in.

It is the first week in December...already. I've purchased 0 Christmas presents and my skin is angry! Well I take that back, I got a facial last week and it helped clear up some breakouts from my work trip to Vegas that wouldn't go away. (Gia is amazing at Spa Social) Now it is just a little dry and some post acne redness. BOO! It is a work in progress. I just long for that day that I can wake up and not have the need for makeup, maybe just a little tinted moisturizer and go. But on the bright side my guns are getting HUGE!
See:




 But in other news, just finished up a fashion segment at WGN for The Shops at North Bridge....Erica and Dee (and Amanda) are just so wonderful to work for. I have been fortunate enough to have modeled for them for so many years. They really are so genuine and fun to work for. Plus who doesn't love being on tv? I worked with all these models from Factor (go figure.) I of course feel like an outcast because I am not apart of their "agency" ( I quote agency mostly out of annoyance, they really are with a great Chicago agency.) I am not with an agency. I have in fact been freelance or "independent" for almost the entire duration of modeling. I started off with Lily's Talent Agency but after making the mistake of going exclusive and cutting my hair off (Thanks Nick Arrojo) it didn't work out. Why is it that they don't educate 15/16 year old models on what they should and shouldn't do when they send you to a casting?  I decided to leave once my exclusivity was up and here I am. I can't really say many negative things about my career thus far considering I have been lucky enough to have great connections and a good reputation of being professional, reliable, and good at what I do. I mean who gets to model for the Chicago Bears, walk in Mercedes Benz Fashion Week, and model consistently for the most amazing fashion boutique in the city? (KRISTA K BOUTIQUE) That's right me! So why am I not signed? Beats the heck out of me, I see girls all the time that are signed and I wonder what is so special about here (sounds harsh) but truthfully we all want to think highly of how we look and how superb our portfolio is. It really is very subjective (just like anything that is based off esthetics.) I guess I just get frustrated that I know I can deliver and somehow I am not the chosen one.  I do get some great opportunities but being at a stand still and not progressing is always so annoying regardless of the situation. Being 25 means I am not getting any younger, but at least I stay in better shape than a lot of these other fellow string beaners out there. Suck it, I have the same hip size but at least I have a nice firm muscular glutes to work with. 

In most recent news
UPS just came through, I decided to buy the Neiman Marcus/Target collaboration stuff....I got the Tory Burch Thermos and Lunch box...totally cute..very excited to splurge on myself these days.





 And of course I couldn't end it without taking some pictures of myself and my cats.  Seeing Cephalic Carnage tomorrow night, so that'll be swell. The Hobbit is next week. Well I can't even begin to describe my level of excitement there. Until next time, stare at my pictures of me being vain.

<3














Wednesday, November 28, 2012

What's the deal with being stuck in this skinny body?

Here's a random one. Same old story. I grew up that tall lanky girl with "twigs for arms" (that was my nickname growing up.) I was made fun of for being skinny, soft spoken, and as tall as trees.  I wasn't very outgoing and had very little self esteem. And then...I started modeling. Fast forward 10 years later. Why YES you ask, I have been going at this little make shift modeling career for 10 years, give or take a few months. It has been splendid, and also horrific at the same time.  But, I don't want to talk about modeling specifically. I want to talk about how I have this constant pulling of emotions going on in this ole brain pan upstairs about my body image. Now, I am perfectly fine with my height, in fact I could always be be taller. I have never cared for my feet, and I hate that I can't ever find a bra that actually fits my 14 year old chesties region.  I have grown to cope with that, or until I stumble across a really great plastic surgeon and $10,000.  I've always hated my skin, we are not friends, but we are always working on our relationship. The real deep down problem here is muscles. As we all know, I am a big bodybuilder at heart. I blame my ever so passionate boyfriend who showed me the muscle worshiping light when we first started dating. I knew what bodybuilding was because my uncle competed when I was a little girl and my PE teacher in elementary school was also a natural bodybuilder. But what I didn't know and what I soon found out, it's addicting and never ending. There is always this sense of self perfection.

 Here is my dilemma . I am an ectomorph through and through. I eat for 2 and remain the same weight. I am definitely stronger than I have ever been but my struggle is the mass that I put on when lifting for hypertrophy.  I want so badly to have this shape about me but I am terrified of how it will affect my career. I know that it is physically impossible for me to get bulky ( I am not afraid of that.) I just know from experience the more I get away from a model sample size, the less work I will be able to do. My quads and glutes are much bigger than ever before. I have worked for it and most people who probably laugh at me because I am still a string bean. But I take progress pictures and I know how my clothes fit. How does one find a happy medium between bodybuilding and modeling. I know I will never be the IFBB bikini champ I'd ever so hoped to be without a pair of big Ta Ta's, but I want to fit in there somewhere. Of course the fitness modeling division in Chicago is nonexistent, or I just don't know about it.  It'd just be nice to feel as if I look like I actually work out, instead of the girl that everyone says "Hey you must be a runner" to. I don't run, I hate running and always have. I lift weights. I lift hard. I enjoy the fatigue my muscles feel when they are about to fail. I need to get ripped and still look pretty while doing it. How hard can that truly be?? 

In the end I can't completely complain....I have been blessed with great chemical makeup and have to work harder to put on some muscle, but at least I am happy (most of the time) and healthy. Now if only I could kick my over use of caffeine and life will be special.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Only the dreamer can change the dream

"Life is but an empty dream"  -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I have been experiencing this reoccurring dream these past few months. Truthfully I have many dreams that tend to cycle through every few weeks. They say that dreams sometimes have strong emotional content. It is very much in our subconscious that we think about things throughout out waking life, and can return to those thoughts in our deep sleep. Sometimes they messages are very vague but they affect us. For me specifically I feel the emotions when I wake up. I do wish I did not dream some of the things that I do, but I have a wondering mind. I guess in order to remove the unpleasant dreams, you must discard the thoughts provoking it.  Easier said than done right?

My dream that has recently been bothersome has been based around a class like in highschool/college. Each time the class is different and the material is never specific. There is always something random going on the actual dream and I can't ever piece it together. In my dream I keep missing a class and forgetting to go to it. I get closer and closer to graduation and realize that I am not going to graduate because I haven't been attending this specific class.  I don't go to the class because I do not understand the material and hate asking for help. This can very much translate to my real life in which sense I have never liked receiving help. I have worked very hard to get where I am and with very little help to get me here. Granted I am sure it was somewhat always there, I just never had enough in me to ask for it. This comes to my actual classes in school and also into my adult life living moving to Chicago and being in the circumstances I have been in.  We all are very much to blame for certain scenarios we get into, especially when we don't know how to get out of them.  I guess for me now, I have it stuck in my mind that I do not belong or don't feel accepted. I have always felt this way. I have always been an outside, quiet, and not very confident. It is hard to get out of, and of course I need to grow up in that sense. I guess I just don't always believe in myself especially when I do not feel that others believe in me. Besides of course my family, not feeling accepted has really always been a struggle for me. I have always had a extra sensitivity about my skin, and about how I can't seem to get ahead even when the effort is there.  I have always put forth extra effort in to things in hopes that eventually they will pay off, and when they don't and there is still a struggle I find it immensely difficult to find the courage and strength to push harder and keep my head up. I don't really have any close friends anymore...I spend more time alone with my thoughts than speaking to others. The internet has really sort of ruined people's communication skills. Sure I use it a lot but I'd rather go for coffee with someone than have a Gchat or whatever. My dreams stem from my overall frustrations with my inability to be satisfied with my general life. I am afraid of change and not being appreciated or accepted. I guess I just feel I am worth more than I get sometimes. Truth be told,  I am very much an introvert, but do appreciate attention and unconditional love or genuine friendship/relationships.

"A fool who recognises his own ignorance is thereby in fact a wise man, but a
fool who considers himself wise -- that is what one really calls a fool. -
Gautama Buddha"

Saturday, October 27, 2012

The book that changed my life.

Today I woke up later than normal. I cleaned like I always end up doing. My client didn't come in. I went to lunch and saw Perks of Being a Wallflower with Natalie. Came home and packed. Today, this week, or for awhile I have felt this sort of lull in the way life is right now. I feel that something is missing. Things that I expected to be there, are not. In the past and present I set certain standards or expectations for situations/people involved in my life. It is sort of a sense of defeat to not be where I intended.
I am being vague, I'll admit. I have my reasons. I am rather just disappointed in my relationships with people. I have very few friends, which doesn't bother me. I am actually content with being a lone wolf. I have always been that way, but I always had that one great friend whom I knew would always be there, never judge me, and I could count on. We all hope to have that, and sometimes that friend goes away. People move on in their lives. They are preoccupied with the present and sometimes do not put others thoughts first.  I am guilty of this as well. I have spent a lot of time trying to better my life, trying to run away from all the things that make me sad. Along the way I have lost a bit of me and have become a different person.  So much sorrow has surrounded my life, and because of that I have held on to this emotion and anxiety that I am not going to ever get the outcome in life that I want. Don't get me wrong, my life is very happy. I have great people whom care about me, and I care as much for them. But you know those people who truly get you? The one's who stood by you through everything, and changed your life? What happens when they aren't there for you anymore? If they find a replacement, and you become an afterthought. I feel like an afterthought in several aspects of where I am.  What then? This is specific and generalized because this emotion I feel is loosely connected to multiple situations.  I am saddened that this situation is even an issue. I am frustrated because of the things that led up to this. I don't know what I can do to change it because I am too angry to resolve it. 

I feel happiness. Like my cat Magnolia who never lays on my lap is as I write this. Or the Yann Tiersen and Shannon Wright playing in the background. Or the fact that I get to go pick up Mike from work and go spend some time with McGee and the Parrish's. But why can't happiness be easier elsewhere? I have worked hard all my life, sure I have had some bouts of procrastination, but I have always trucked along and made things work. What do I need to change, that is the question of the week?

Off I go for now.

<3


Thursday, October 25, 2012

October

Fall is in full swing and I am sitting at home with my cats and the windows open. Thursdays are typically very slow for me so I spend most of the day cleaning. I can say that some things have definitely changed in my life, and I can't complain one bit.  After getting back from the Olympia at the end of September, Mike and I came home to my cats and a new step in a great direction. I did not see life being at this point a few months ago, I honestly did not have very high hopes for the outcome of having to move from my last apartment.
I have lived in Logan Square since 2009, just 3 minutes or 2 blocks way from Mike. When we started dated I spent most of my time coming back and forth apartments, and further down the line I basically lived at his place and only went home to feed the cats and clean up a bit. So when I told my landlord that unless I could find a better situation I did not want to renew, and she agreed. Living with people can be very hard, especially when they do not share the same keep clean/be responsible values. I can't say I am a perfect person or that I have never struggled but I know I have always made sure that no matter how broke I might be, my rent always gets paid first. Hell this transition, going to Vegas right after a move, coming back to half a paycheck, and waiting for others to pay you really put me in a bind, but at least I know that its only temporary. But the idea of leaving Logan Square and even worse not getting to wake up next to Mike every day really pulled at my emotions. So I made my decision.
 After all was said and done I am so glad for the change, but it was honestly a big decision. Officially moving in with your other half is a gigantic step, not to mention introducing my 2 cats to a new apartment and a reluctant boyfriend is quite a hard task.  I was very nervous, still am. But I can tell you now that I wake up every day so happy, even when I have to be up at 6:00am three days a week. A weight has been lifted. Suddenly, all the things that stressed me before seem so insignificant. I say that in present, I sit here and I am not worried. I spent my day off cleaning and feeling good. (Despite being sick for what seems like weeks.) I can not complain, OK maybe about the fact that Bella and Magnolia (my 2 furry love kitties) have both decided to start meowing every single night and pawing at the door. Wow that is annoying.  Training your cats to do everything opposite of what they were allowed to do for 7 years is a SLOW painful process. But all in good fun, they are a joy, a pain in the ass, and I love them so much. Just like Mike.

Past all that, I have been working some 20-25 hours now each week with all my clients. Some have stayed with me for a long time and some are new. I really love and appreciate the fact that I am able to work with and help people achieve their goals. You would think that most people care about aesthetics and I get that, but honestly I spend more time helping people feel better and stronger. To me there is nothing more satisfying than seeing a client look at you with the (are you really going to make me do this look) and then after they do it they are excited they accomplished something. It is great.

Modeling has also been really great. It seems to come in different phases. One minute I am just training/working out during my free time and the next I have a ton of jobs/shoots. It really is great that I still have the opportunities to live out my dreams. I am grateful to have a job that is flexible enough to still live my life outside of just one career path. I am a gemini after all. I need to do multiple things otherwise I will always feel uninspired.

I have a life, someone whom I love so deeply I can not even describe my happiness, and a great career path. Now I just have to watch how it all pans out.

<3

Monday, March 12, 2012

2012 and Beyond

It is 3 months into the year 2012 and what a weird year it has been. I started the journey that is my personal training career and has been very emotional, then again when is my life not? Along with that I have been working on increasing my muscular strength and size. That has been a huge challenge. I have been WAY more than I can afford sometimes, but I have made some gains. I am still rather lean but have a little more lean muscle on my shoulders and more size in my glutes, quads, and hams. I am still in the "fluffy" phase but still appear to be thin. No complaints here.

I have spent the past few months trying to build my clientele. I have been fortunate enough to gain a few permanent clients and worked with a few people who could only afford a smaller training package. I am sure this is normal or maybe I am just not doing a good enough job. It is very difficult to remain positive while you are just starting out. There are a lot of ups and downs and I second guess my self quite a bit. I feel like I have gained all of this knowledge but sometimes I just feel lost. Today is definitely one of those days. I finally got a fairly large paycheck. Probably one of the biggest I have received outside of modeling. It felt good but I know it won't be consistent at least for a bit. I passed up a job at the Logan Square Theatre because I need to fully focus on this. I do miss that instant cash from bartending but the hours are not much to be desired!

On a side note I have been thinking about my actions and feelings lately. It has made me think a bit more about how I handle my life and decisions. I have spent so much time trying to appease everyone, seeking some sense of gratitude or appreciation. I feel like I have lost a sense in trying to make myself happy. I over achieve, I try to help too much, and then I feel upset because no one says Thanks so much! or The place looks great...or maybe my effort will show how much I care and they return the effort back. It hasn't been working, so clearly I am not satisfied with it. My solution, and the obvious way normal people go about it, is to be more selfish. Stop caring about trying to "impress" or get some sort of thanks, do things for you. Go out of your way to make yourself feel better and you will not be let down in the long run.

I have been thinking about all this lately, and fitness, nutriton, mental alike, its relevant to health and happiness. You create and destroy your own well being and happiness, so take care of it.

That is all.

Goals for the rest of the year...up and perfect my Olympic Lift maxes, and eventually compete in Figure. When my size is right of course. Til then.

Faretheewell.