All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.

Let me tell you a story about my life.... My parents divorced when I was 2 or 3, I spent most of my time with my grandparents when my mom worked so much. They were an incredible staple in my life. My mom and stepdad had my brother when I was 7 years old, we moved from a tiny apartment to a small ranch in a small town. I grew up in a middle class family in a small farm town in central Illinois. We lived less than a block from the same school I attended from K-12.   I had a different group of friends in elementary school, middle school, and high school, as I am sure we all have. While my mom and stepdad worked I would watch my little brother. Until he was old enough to watch himself or could go outside with friends without supervision I watched him. We fought constantly, but that is what siblings do. With such a huge gap in age we really had no real interests in common but I still loved my brother. Fast forward to present time, I am 25 and he is 18. We are both are completely different paths in our lives.  I got a tattoo the day after I turned 18 with my best friend. I spent my 18th birthday with my dysfunctional family, best friend, and boyfriend. I thought my boyfriend was the love of my life. I thought my best friend and I would get an apartment together on our Carlos O' Kelly's paychecks.  A year later my best friend left for the air force for 4 years, I was devastated. I was lost in my "dysfunctional hate filled relationship" and started traveling to Chicago more often.  Then "we" moved to Chicago seperately, I hated him but didn't know how to get out. Then he moved in and owed me A LOT of money and I really didn't know how to get him out. He was abusive and I was stuck. I eventually caught a break. I moved on in my life and my career and became a better person. That was something I never thought was possible.  For 5 years I was in the worst damn place in my entire adult life and even now I am still learning how to trust and not be so afraid I am the happiest I have ever been.

Now to the point. There is a lot of drama going on in my brother life. I am not going to air out his dirty laundry now.  My brother is 18, first year out of high school and not making the best decisions. He is making mistakes just like we all did when we were that age and forgetting how important family is. It really hurts me to see all the drama going on Facebook. It just bothers me how easy it is for young kids to say I love you to one another. I know when you are young it is easy to say one thing and drop it without regard to others feelings the next day. I am saddened to know that I can not reach out to my brother without him thinking I am upset with him and hate him. I love him so dearly and will never stop loving him. I just hope for a better path for him and for better friends and people in his life. Being misguided and full of hate really does nothing to progress your life. I know that I can not have any influence on what decisions he might make or how well he does, but I just wish I could interject and show him the greater side of life. I just want him to be happy and not fight the world. Easier said than done right? Everyone has to go through the mistakes of life to know what works and what doesn't.

The fact of the matter is that family is incredibly important. When I was lost, for the longest time I never told my mom what was really bothering me because I was afraid she wouldn't help. When I opened up and was honest with myself and my family I was capable of so much more because I had the help and love of my family. Even if family is dysfunctional there will always be a bond that no one can touch. Having a hateful heart blocks off those that matter the most, and when you remove it life becomes bearable and easier. I know that not everyone had the closeness and love that I had with my mom and grandparents, but I feel it played a crucial part in how I turned out.

Take away note, treat your family with utmost love and respect.  Those friends I had through school didn't stick around after I moved on with my life but my family has never stopped supporting me.

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